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Rebecca S. Ramsey
ExpatWomen's Interview with Rebecca
ExpatWomen: Rebecca, congratulations on your newly-released book, French by Heart. This book tells tales of your four years in Clermont-Ferrand, France. Can you please share with us why you sold your home in South Carolina, US, to move to France, and what you remember of that decision and your transition time?
Rebecca: When my husband Todd was offered the job transfer to Clermont Ferrand, we weren’t sure what to think. Years before, when he was first hired by Michelin, we were aching for the chance to see the world and it never happened. Three kids later, our life was typically American-- complicated with soccer games and church, work and volunteering, and it was then that the job offer in France finally popped up. We said yes, happily and nervously, having no real idea what we were getting ourselves into. Within a few weeks it felt like God dumped our life into a blender and pushed frappé! We were thrust into all the craziness that all expats probably experience, a To Do list of a million items—language lessons to take, an inventory to make of all our worldly possessions in English and in French, complete with a monetary value for every single item in dollars and in francs, our cars and our house to sell, medical examinations to undergo and goodbyes to say to everyone we knew. By the time we dragged ourselves onto the plane, we thought the hard work had to be over. We were so clueless!
ExpatWomen: What did you expect from your time in France, and in comparison, what do you think that you walked away with?
Rebecca: I wanted to really get to know France and hoped to make some good French friends, and we were lucky to do that. We truly fell in love with the country and made friends that feel more like family, although not always with the people I had imagined. I had hoped to make friends with other mothers close to my age—I had even pictured us in my mind, sipping little café au laits in someone’s jardin as our children played together. I did make a few close mom friends, but I’d have to say my best French friend turned out to be Madame Mallet, the seventy five year old tomboy and French patriot who spoke no English and lived across the street. I wrote quite a bit about her in French By Heart. Our friendship was the biggest surprise of my four years in France, since she absolutely drove me insane our first six months there.
I had many other hopes for our time in France. I hoped that my kids would make friends and learn the language, and they definitely did that. I hoped that they would learn that people can talk and think and do things in many different ways, and they learned that too. One thing that our expatriate life gave us that I did not expect was that it really turned my family into a team, much more so than we had ever been before. We all struggled together at the beginning, and we celebrated every accomplishment. And we laughed—a lot!
France gave us wonderful family time that I doubt we would have had at home. We spent our weekends taking hikes around town, or going out on day trips, or just staying at home—together! Now that we’re back in the bustle of American life again, it seems like a dream.
ExpatWomen: Did you and/or your children find it difficult to integrate into French society? Do you think when you left, that you were ‘accepted’ by your French neighbors?
Rebecca: Yes, it was hard, but I think the hardest part for me had nothing to do with the French people. For me, as a shy person who hates making any kind of a scene, the most difficult thing was forcing myself talk to people and risk sounding like a fool with my accent! Once I got over that, the French people were so completely nice and warm! We were completely accepted by our neighbors, though it didn’t happen quickly. We grew to really love each other. They would have done anything to help me, and often did! And I enjoyed helping them as well and being a part of their life. We still write, though my French just keeps getting worse and worse. Pretty soon I’m afraid I’ll have to resort to drawing pictures!
ExpatWomen: Can you share a funny experience with us, from your time in France?
Rebecca: There were so many—it’d take a whole chapter to tell one. Let’s see…I was once chased by a man in a goose suit trying to sell me paté. What else?
Many of my funniest stories have to do with my neighbor Madame Mallet. In spite of her nosiness, I couldn’t resist her sense of humor. Once when we were having a little spat, she tried to get me to come out to talk to her by setting a fire in her driveway. I’m a southerner and don’t like confrontation, but she knew I wouldn’t be able to stay inside while she did something so wacky. I sent my ten year old out to find out what in the world she was doing, and Sarah came back and said, “She told me to tell you that she’s burning her lover’s letters before Monsieur Mallet finds out!” What a nut!
ExpatWomen: What made you decide to write about your experiences – was there a defining moment for you?
| Rebecca: I’ve always loved to write, but after our move we experienced so many weird and hilarious things that I had no choice! I knew I would forget these things if I didn’t write them down. Maybe it was because French people make time to do what they love, but I felt so inspired. And besides, anyone living across the street from Madame Mallet would have to write a book!
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ExpatWomen: They say the first book is the most difficult. How long did this book take you to write and what were your biggest challenges along the way?
Rebecca: I guess I would have to say that I started writing the book from the very beginning of our time in France, though I had no idea it would turn into a book. I had done some freelance work before and thought I might get a few stories of our experiences published in magazines or newspapers. But the longer we were in France, the more I began to see that there was a bigger story to tell, and the only way to do that was with a book. So if you add it all up, writing the book probably took five or six years, although I only worked full time on it for a couple years, and that’s while staying home with three young children. Anyone with kids knows what that means—there are rarely large blocks of free time in which to write. I wrote in little snippets here and there.
ExpatWomen: Can you share any advice for other Expat Women who are interested in writing about their expat experiences?
Rebecca: Sure! Write as much as you can about all your experiences before you forget the details! Find writer friends or friends who love to read, people who will give you honest feedback, and then really listen to what they say about what you’ve written. Be prepared to do lots of rewriting. Some of my chapters I must have rewritten at least twenty times—I’m serious! I love the writing process, so it was fun for me. Even if Random House’s Broadway Books hadn’t taken up my book, I’d still be glad I wrote it. I don’t scrapbook and I’m terrible with keeping photo albums up to date, so this was my way of making permanent our life there. As far as getting published goes, I’d say read a lot on the subject. There are plenty of great writing websites out there if you look for them. My agent has a fantastic one: . It’s fun to read even if you’re not a writer. Also, feel free to visit my site, , where I share a little more about how French By Heart found its publishing home.
ExpatWomen: Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Writing more books? Living in another country?
Rebecca: I’ll definitely be writing! I can’t give it up now! I just finished my second book, Bonjour Y’all, An American Family Returns to the Flock, and my agent is shopping it around. It’s about our first year back to America and the reverse culture shock we experienced, and I think folks will enjoy it. And I’m working on a novel which is really so fun for me!
As far as living the expat life, I’d love to do it again. We’ll probably return to France at some point, but I’d also like to try another part of the world. I’d love to go to Asia.
ExpatWomen: Thank you very much Rebecca. We wish you all the very best for the success of your new book, French By Heart.
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