One White Face

Hilary: I learnt how to be a lady. Let me explain... At first, the gender adversity shocked me and I took it offensively. Being asked to clean up after company birthday parties or to serve tea to my bosses made me say to myself, "It is 2007! How are they still treating women like this?"

Yet, this was Japanese culture. And it was through adapting to these cultural practices, that I learned for the first time in my life how to be a lady. In the States, women are taught to be "independent" and "equal" to men. When in fact, I believe this makes us lose what is natural to us – a strength, a femininity.

In Asia, I learned how to sit up straight, speak softly and control my laugh and Italian hand gestures when I speak. I learned to how to dress in a way that has character but does not expose too much. I learned to be a lady.

Expat Women: Your career in Singapore started with a chance encounter in an unexpected place. How important do you think networking is in securing a career abroad, and what other tips can you share with women looking for international job opportunities?

Hilary: Meeting the Toyota executive in the pool was certainly serendipitous and although being open and aware for unpredicted opportunities is important, you cannot plan for these. Women should be aware that finding a job abroad is time and emotionally sensitive – and somewhat different from searching for a job at home.

For example, my boss told me that originally, his colleagues did not want to hire me because they thought I had come to Singapore with a boyfriend and that I would leave if he left. Fortunately they did hire me, because they said that even if I was hiding a boyfriend, I had convinced them how much I really wanted to be at Toyota.

If I had any other tip, it would be to not expect the same treatment in the interviewing process as your home country. Toyota barely even looked at my resume. They did not seem to care what school I went to (and I believe this to be a good thing).

Expat Women: You struggled with respecting cultural differences in Asia, whilst also honoring your own instincts and beliefs. How did you find the balance?

Hilary: Do you know that feeling in your gut when you know something is just not right? If I felt that, I stood up for what I was taught. Yet, there is also that feeling when you know something is odd, or different, like you are in a movie and seeing it from the outside. That is when I just kept quiet and observed. If it did not hurt me physically, I could accept it, understand it and learn from it.

Expat Women: What brought you home to the United States?

Hilary: Essentially, I came home because I had gotten what I wanted out of the experience. From the personal side, I did not want to spend all of my twenties abroad. I realized already that I felt different from my peers and did not want that gap to widen. I also missed my family and found it difficult to make and maintain deep relationships with friends in such a transient lifestyle. Lastly, I wanted to meet someone special, and that was nearly impossible abroad.

From a work perspective, it also felt like the right time to leave because new Japanese management had entered the company and I did not agree with the direction that they thought our regional and department activity should take.

Expat Women: You have said that writing One White Face was the hardest thing you have ever done. What made you start – and what kept you going?

Hilary: On my last visit home before repatriating, I had a handful of people tell me that I needed to write a book. I laughed out loud. Writing a book never claimed a line in my list of personal goals. Actually, the process of writing was excruciating for my personality type. I do not like to be alone. I like to engage with people and process my thoughts verbally, not through the written word.

Yet, something pushed me. Not my own interests, but a calling from something bigger out there, to the point where I felt I had no choice but to write my story. Through cold and rainy days this past winter, this something kept pushing me. The more I wrote, the stronger it pushed. Once I brought on editing interns, I saw for the first time the power that the stories had and their potential. When I hired an editor, it became even more real. Once I signed a contract with her, there was no stopping One White Face from coming to life.

Expat Women: You are still in your twenties, and yet have achieved so many things. What is next for Hilary Corna?

Hilary: (Laughs) I never stop! I am always scheming the next big plan! There are numerous opportunities that have crossed my lap that I am now considering but keeping my options open. Including in those is working with women and diversity groups in companies, as well as helping schools merge their career and international initiatives. The book has also been recently passed around Hollywood to potentially be optioned. Apparently, I might even have the next "Eat, Pray, Love".

Furthermore, I would like to learn more about what anthropologists have defined as the "cultural cusp" – the creation of a new culture of people by merging two over a generation. I have been used as an example of it.

Perhaps I should just end with the Helen Keller quote I kept on my desk at Toyota for the entire three years...

"Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all."