Tina Quick
Tina Quick is a well–seasoned traveler and mother of three college–aged daughters. She is an adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) who, having made 18 moves (9 of them before her 10th birthday), understands well the cycle of loss and grief involved in a cross–cultural lifestyle. Tina has raised her own TCKs across four cultures on the continents of Asia, Africa, Europe and North America.
After spending 15 adult years abroad, Tina made a career change from registered nurse to cross–cultural trainer, writer and international speaker. She is on the Board of Directors and serves as Chairperson of the Program Committee for Families in Global Transition and she is a member of the Overseas Association of College Admissions Counseling. Tina works closely with colleges and universities, domestic and international schools, and has fond memories of substitute teaching and coaching at the International School of Geneva.
Expat Women's Interview With Tina
Expat Women: Tina, what a great resource you have written for young adult TCKs and global nomads heading off to college. What was it about your own array of experiences that gave you the passion to invest a year or so in writing The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition?
Tina: Living in the Boston area with over 200 colleges and universities, I was regularly running into TCKs whom I had known from our various overseas postings and meeting their TCK friends. Through our conversations, I discovered the stories were almost always the same. These accomplished, self–assured, well–rounded, intelligent and gifted global nomads were recanting tales of "not fitting in," "not belonging," and "not connecting" with their home–country peers. This typically resulted in isolation and often, subsequent depression.
|
|
|
I had volunteered at a "missionary kid" (MK) transition/re–entry workshop in 2007 and felt that a similar program needed to be brought into the secular schools that have students experiencing the same transitions. In either scenario, many of the same issues apply because in each case, the TCK is suddenly surrounded by people who have no shared experience with them – peers that have not lived the cross–cultural, highly–mobile lifestyle of the global nomad experience.
What I found is that the schools, and even the parents and students themselves, did not take this transition seriously. There is the false expectation of "I'm going home. No one needs to tell me how to do that" – and therein lies the problem. The TCK does not expect they will have any difficulties adjusting, but in fact, they need to treat the transition to their home country the same as they would any other foreign country, for it will be foreign to them in many regards.
I felt this special population of students needed a guidebook they could take to university with them. Hopefully they will read it before they leave as there is a lot of useful advice on preparing for the transition, but even if they do not, they can pick it up when they run into difficulties.
|
| |
Expat Women: What findings surprised you the most in your research for this book? |
| |
Tina: I was surprised at the number of students who had not heard the terms "third culture kid" or "global nomad" before. Dr. Barbara Schaetti, who has done some work with TCK identity development has learned through all her discussions with global nomads that those students who were familiar with the terms or even the subsets of those terms like "missionary kid", "oil brat", "military brat" and so on had an easier time with what she terms "encounter" – when TCKs are woken up to the fact that they are different from their less–mobile peers.
I was also struck by the fact that global nomads tend to fall through the cracks of colleges and universities because they are deemed to be domestic students, even though they usually tend to feel more like international students. They do not fit in with their compatriots but at the same time they cannot fully relate to being a foreign student. They can often feel like "fish out of water" and feel like they have nowhere to turn. |
| |
Expat Women: What are some of the most common challenges new TCK university students might experience? |
| |
Tina: The first big surprise is that they do not always know their home country culture as well as they thought they did. Their self–confidence can really plummet when they discover that they do not understand how to perform simple, everyday tasks in their home country, such as banking, using public transportation, doing laundry, mailing a letter, proper ways of greeting others and so on.
The second surprise is when they discover that they are having difficulty connecting with their peers. Their life experiences have been so different from most other students that their peers have no frame of reference for those experiences. Just trying to answer the question, "Where are you from?" can put global nomads in a quandary and end up in a ten–minute answer.
They are the "hidden immigrants" Pollock and Van Reken talk about in Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds. While they may look and sound like their home country peers, they do not have the same knowledge base, attitudes, world view or opinions. As a result, they are seen as very different and quickly labelled "weird" or "misfits" by their peers.
TCKs typically have issues of unresolved grief from their highly mobile lifestyles. As Pollock and Van Reken say, "For most TCKs the collection of significant losses and separations before the end of adolescence is often more than most people experience in a lifetime." If they do not understand how to name those losses, reflect on them and find closure, the hurt may surface later in life in destructive forms such as anger, depression and/or denial.
The cycle of transition itself is a major challenge for all first–year college students, but even more so for the global nomad who is not only making a life stage change but a cultural transition as well. What students need to understand is that they will experience a quagmire of emotions as they progress through each of the stages of transition. The stages and the accompanying emotions, while unsettling, are actually predictable, expected and completely normal. They also need to understand when it is not normal, such as getting stuck in a downward spiral of depression that does not go away. They must know where and how to get help in those times. |
| |
Expat Women: What are your top five tips for TCKs and global nomads transitioning into university abroad? |
| |
Tina: |
| |
|
| 1. |
Enter your home country the same way you would a foreign one – there will be fewer unwanted surprises that way. Buy a guidebook to your home country, attend International Orientation with other international students and expect the unexpected. |
| |
|
| 2. |
Not fitting in is one of the biggest concerns for TCKs. Understand that it is not you as a person but your life experiences that make you different from most of the people you will be surrounded by on your college campus. |
| |
|
| 3. |
Mono–culturals relate differently than global nomads. They may be difficult to get to know. Give them time and extend them some grace. Listen to their stories so they can hear yours. |
| |
|
| 4. |
Global nomads find their sense of belonging with others who have shared a similar experience – other kids who have lived the expatriate lifestyle. Seek out TCK communities on your campus or consider starting your own. |
| |
|
| 5. |
Learn the practical life skills you will need at school such as banking, driving, doing laundry, shopping and cooking before you leave home. The learning curve is steep at first so having these skills under your belt ahead of time will help reduce stress. |
|
| |
Expat Women: What advice would you offer to parents of transitioning students? |
| |
Tina: |
| |
|
| 1. |
If students have not already heard the terms "third culture kid" or "global nomad", introduce them now. Help them understand that the lifestyle they have been living is very different from most of the other students on their college or university campus. |
| |
|
| 2. |
Teach them practical life skills they will need before they leave home. |
| |
|
| 3. |
Establish or build on your communication style before students leave home. Students need to feel free to voice their concerns, fears, expectations and so on. They want someone who will listen, be non–judgmental and not offer advice unless it is asked for. |
| |
|
| 4. |
Lay out your expectations ahead of time – expectations concerning academics, finances, communications and behavior. |
| |
|
| 5. |
Help them leave well – say proper farewells, reconcile broken friendships, affirm those who have been important in their lives and think ahead about their transition needs. |
| |
|
| 6. |
Put this book (or a book about the college experience written for students in the TCK's country of study) in your child's hands before they leave – and keep a copy for yourself as well. By reading through what they can expect on their transition journey, you will be able to come alongside and support them through it. |
|
| |
Expat Women: Thank you so much, Tina. We wish you the best both for The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition and for your ongoing work with young adult TCKs and global nomads. |
| |
| |
|
|
