Low Cost, High Impact Strategies for Supporting Internationally Mobile Families
Tina Quick
Many organizations, particularly non-profit and humanitarian aid organizations, acknowledge that they need to support their internationally mobile families better, but imagine that doing so requires a much larger budget than what they have available. In actuality, meeting the psychosocial needs of relocating families can be done with little or no organizational expenditure. Much can be achieved at the grassroots level of any sized organization that has an interest in successful family transitions.
Why should organizations be interested in supporting families? Statistics vary greatly depending on what source you read, but the fact of the matter is that employees are returning from their overseas assignment s early (10-40%) with the main reason being family adjustment problems.¹ This could include anything from not handling the chaos of culture shock well, to marital problems that followed the family overseas (or developed abroad), to a trailing spouse who gave up a good career to follow the employee and is now regretting it.
Anyone going through a major life change, whether it is the birth of a new baby, a marriage, divorce, life-threatening illness, death in the family or relocation, goes through a cycle of transition. Dave Pollock, author of "Third Culture Kids" developed a model for transition that clearly outlines five distinct phases of any major upheaval. Working with this model as it fits a family going through an international relocation helps us identify the predominant needs in each of the three most difficult stages – leaving, transition and entry.
The Leaving Stage begins the moment we are aware of an upcoming change. It is a time of excitement and anticipation, mixed with sadness and denial. This is the time when families are thinking ahead and trying to understand what it will be like in their new destination. They are in dire need of information. They need to understand what the educational choices are for their children, what the living conditions will be like, what things should be brought from home and what they will need to purchase there. They may need language training. They will need information on the culture and country itself, as well as information on health and security issues.
The Transition Stage begins the moment we leave one place and ends once we decide, whether consciously or unconsciously, to settle in and become a part of this new place. It is characterized by chaos. Think about it. We do not know how to get from point A to point B, how anything works, the food, the transportation, the language. We do not know what foods to buy to make our family's favorite meals... we know nothing! This stage is filled with anxiety, lowered self-esteem and generally feeling overwhelmed most of the time. A family needs someone to come alongside them at this time and show them the way things work in this new place. They need someone who can mentor them and introduce them to the culture and community and vice versa.
The Entering Stage begins once we desire to settle in and connect in this new place; however, we are still feeling on the margins, uncertain and vulnerable. We are dealing with loneliness and searching for friends. We may still be encountering culture shock and making cultural faux pas. We need activities, groups and networks for building relationships and finding mentors.
These three stages are the most vulnerable for families.
So what can organizations do to help families, without spending a lot of money?
I like to give the example of the expatriate spouses of Shell Outpost. These trailing spouses started a grassroots support system for Shell families that was so successful, the organization could not help but support them in various ways that did not necessarily include money. They provide office space on the company premises, sponsor an annual family event as well as a charity ball. These men and women now have worldwide "Outposts" that provide country information where they are arriving and where they are relocating to. Spouses have written, helpful guides to their postings. They have monthly teas with speakers, playgroups and other gatherings that draw spouses in to network and make friends. They also have a sponsor program that matches kids and parents up to be "Buddies".
Individual sponsors or sponsor families cost nothing to the organization and are perfect for meeting the needs of families in all aspects of the transition cycle. They can communicate by email, Skype or phone to help incoming families know what to expect. Children can begin communicating about the school, local 'kid fashions' and activities as well as what the neighborhood is like. Parents will get an understanding of what life is like in the country of assignment, the people, customs and traditions, what household belongings should be shipped and what should be stored, appliances, voltages, what food and other comfort items should be brought from home. Some organizations have sponsors meet the incoming families at the airport and show them to their housing. They may fill up the refrigerator with food and drinks, leave area maps and information. They will be able to help them find doctors, clinics, dentists and more.
Other low- or no-cost supportive measures that are simple to institute are:
• Granting an employee time off to help the family settle in.
• Having an organizational policy that the new expat not travel for work for the first two months (this might seem impossible, but it's amazing how much can be done via the phone and video-conferencing these days).
• Allowing families flexibility in choosing when to make the move (for example, waiting for the end of the school year or semester).
• Allowing the spouse to be an active part of the process by opening organizational lines of communication.
• Having an organizational 'point person' to go to for all logistical concerns.
• Help for spouses wishing to pursue a dual career – giving out contacts for all of the international organizations in the area.
• Introductions by people in the new destination, to appropriate business and social networks that will help the family adjust much quicker than if they were left to search for networks on their own.
• Having a local hire to help with hook up of utilities and deal with technicalities in the host language.
• Check-in-calls, by a caring point person, to see how the family is settling in, and
• Reasonable airfreight allowance so the family (especially the children) can bring sacred objects, toys and entertainment to help them settle and keep occupied until sea freight arrives.
Obviously, these suggestions are only a drop in the bucket. If we really think about what families need in each stage of transition, it is relatively easy to come up with practical ideas and suggestions that do not cost a lot of money and end up providing care and showing concern, and consideration for families in the throes of global transition.
Tina Quick has made 18 moves, 9 of them before her 10th birthday and has raised 3 daughters across 4 cultures and continents. Her international experience led her to start International Family Transitions, a consultancy that helps individuals, students and families who relocate internationally. Tina's articles (as a registered nurse, expat trailing spouse and now international consultant) have been published in professional and trade books. |
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| ¹ Brayer Hess, Melissa and Lindeman, Patricia, "The Expert Expatriate", Intercultural Press, Yarmouth, ME, 2002 |
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May 2009 |
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