Women And Career Sabotage:
5 Ways To Build Executive Presence &
Stop Sabotaging Your Career
Lois Freeke
Ever wondered why so many women seem to miss out on senior promotions and high visibility projects? Why is it that men outnumber women in executive positions by up to 10:1? What can we women do to command the respect and promotions that our male counterparts seem to secure more?
Firstly we have to understand that as women we are taught to behave in a certain way consistent with our socialization. According to Dr. Lois P. Frankel (executive coach and author of
Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office 101) we are typically conditioned to ensure that the needs of others are met, rather than our own, and if our femininity is questioned we rarely retaliate. We are often effectively choosing to remain girls instead of women.
5 Career Saboteurs For Women
If you are guilty of these five career saboteurs, you could be missing out on the top jobs because of your own behavior and lack of executive presence.
1. Not Playing Politics
Most women are guilty of trying to create win-win situations and please others. As women we need to wise-up to the fact that politics exist in every office and learn to strategize - to plan the game more effectively or miss out. Naïveté is more attractive in a young professional just starting out, not in executives, and is more likely to be used to discredit you. Office politics is basically relationship building, you cannot avoid it, so do not even try.
Tips: Develop your strategic skills by playing competitive sports, games of strategy like chess, and by understanding the politics at play in your own office. By noticing how other successful employees behave you will understand the rules that will help
you achieve career success. Find a mentor or executive coach to help you with these action items. Stay professional throughout all political interaction and remember the rules of relationship building and negotiation - which include giving up the smaller, less important points rather than the main point(s).
2. Working Too Hard
Many of us complain we do too much as women, and we do. However we have to realize that working hard is not, on its own, going to make our careers. For example, some women see the relationships that men develop with decision-makers in the office, for example, talking about the sports scores, as time-wasters. What we need to understand, is that the decision-maker will decide who gets promoted based upon a deep understanding of their character and a belief that they can do the job. Note the difference between careerists who are busy building their careers, and achievers who keep busy just focusing on the work. You will be most successful if you aim for a combination of the two.
Working without a break is another common mistake that women make. As well as promoting career burnout, this will not allow you to function at your optimum level.
Tips: Spend at least 5 percent of your time building relationships that will help you get ahead. Decide in advance how much time you will stay in the office and prioritize strictly accordingly. (Remember that time expands to fill the time available.) Stop volunteering for jobs that will not get you ahead, and low-profile assignments and projects that offer no visibility and are not in line with your career objectives. Schedule regular breaks from your desk and use an alarm to remind you. Use your work breaks to perhaps promote your relationship-building if you want to still feel productive on your breaks.
3. Behaving Like A Girl Instead Of A Woman
Again, because of our conditioning, we are more likely to make mistakes as women based on the stereotypical behaviors we have been taught. There are many such behaviors that we, as women, find natural, but sabotage our careers. When we over decorate our office we may be sending the wrong non-corporate message, when we overly feed people, we may be seen as 'female nourishers' instead of high potential professionals, when we insist on garnering the opinions of others before we make critical decisions, we are likely to be seen as indecisive rather than consultative. Some women suffer from trying to please everyone, and some are so focused on the job at hand they do not adequately focus on their needs or their team's needs.
Of course, acting like a man is not going to be effective, if you do not naturally have male characteristics, since you will not be behaving authentically. As women we are often tempted to tell the whole truth, no matter the consequences. Dr. Frankel quotes the example of the female CEO of Xerox who reported the company's unsustainable business model - and was responsible for an instant stock value fall of 26 percent the next day.
Tips: Rather than try to emulate men, we need to focus on achieving a better balance between typically male and female characteristics. The unique characteristics of the female are very much in demand in today's workplace, for example listening more than talking, more effective use of relationships and collaborating more than competing. The only exception might be if the corporate culture in question was for women and men to confirm to their own stereotypes in order to get ahead. Again, studying the behavior of those who get ahead in your organization/industry will help you decide. Try putting a positive spin on negativity by answering questions (for example why something was not completed on time) both objectively and straightforwardly, instead of perceiving a direct criticism that may not have been there, or being overly apologetic or explanatory when being more neutral would minimize the situation and position you better.
4. How You Brand And Market Yourself
Not having a clear career brand is a common mistake that will ensure you are not as memorable as someone who can clearly articulate their value to the employer or interviewer. The result is that we can be passed over for promotions and high-level projects, even though we actually deserve them. Many women tend to be overly modest and use phrases like "I'm only an office manager". Women often wait to be noticed and will often turn down the high-profile assignments that could fast track their careers because of not understanding their importance in their career power play. Women also tend to be overly modest, which can be a career-killer. Step out of your safety zone (at least occasionally), as this demonstrates confidence and career savvy.
Tips: Identify why your organization needs and benefits from the role you perform and ensure you can clearly communicate this. Develop your elevator pitch and ensure it contains what you do and the benefits to the employer, include what you do, whom you serve and what the value is you bring. Always introduce yourself by using your full formal name and ensure it is used through all your office communications to give a more professional impression. When it comes to project allocation, she who dares wins, so volunteer for high profile assignments if they will potentially benefit your career, even if you see an element of risk. When you have accomplished something and are recognized for it, do not, under any circumstances, downplay it and do remember to acknowledge others who contributed to the project success. Stay updated on your career field and manage your career proactively and wisely, even when you are stable in your position.
5. Personal Appearance
These are the most easily identifiable, and most changeable, of the career saboteurs. Research shows that 55 percent of the impression you leave is how you look, how you sound represents around 38 percent, and only 7 percent is from what you say! So take note: like it or not, how you look is genuinely a very important part of the career equation, do groom yourself accordingly.
Another mistake that women commonly make is smiling inappropriately. Arguably, girls are socialized to smile more from birth and not smiling is usually taken as an indication that something is wrong, whereas when a man does not smile, he seems to be taken more seriously.
Generally speaking, women are also afraid to take up as much space as men. Women are conditioned to sit more inanimately than men and are not always as comfortable with the art of gesture as men. Gestures should complement rather than distract from your message, conversely being under animated can position you as 'flat' or disinterested. Many women tend to tilt their head, which will soften the message and often imply a question, which may not be the desired effect. Regarding make-up and grooming, ensure you are neither under nor over made up, and bear in mind that if you work in a very male-dominated environment, long hair wore down may possibly diminish your credibility by emphasizing your femininity. Finally dressing appropriately is essential; dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
Tips: Be sure your message and facial expression are in sync. No one is saying do not smile, but that your smile fits your message. Granted, a smile could soften a serious message, but only if appropriate to the situation. Use the full amount of space available for presentations and keep your elbows on the table at meetings to convey alertness. Be aware if your use of gestures is due to anxiety and change your body language if so. If you tend to not use gestures enough to reinforce your message, try speaking slightly louder which should naturally correct this problem. Try looking at the person you are communicating with straight ahead and maintain comfortable eye contact. Again, by studying the appearance of the successful senior executives in your company you can understand clearly how best to present yourself.
6. Final Words
Understanding the unspoken rules of the board room like these could help you advance your career and gain the executive presence necessary to play the career game successfully.
All the very best!
Note: Ironically, Dr. Frankel reports spending most of her time coaching men how to be more like women!
