I am a trailing spouse and mother of one, who has been living in Japan for seven months. When I first arrived, I loved the thrill of it all. But now I hate Japan. I desperately miss my mum for the emotional support and I wish she could help more with my son...
My husband has been offered the possibility of a position overseas. We are seriously considering it but we are a little unclear on the financial aspect. The contract looks healthy, but I am wondering about the 'hidden costs' of living and earning abroad...
We are considering taking on an expatriate posting. My question is about special needs education. We have two young children: our 4 year old has dyslexia and the youngest, 2½, has just been diagnosed with autism. I am torn with guilt between wanting to go abroad...
I am a 30-something professional who is currently a trailing spouse. I finally found a job and had started doing something that I felt would be meaningful to me and beneficial for my career path. However, my job is not all that I had dreamed it would...
My husband of 22 years came home last night and told me he wants a divorce because he is in love with somebody else. I have been financially dependent on my husband for all of our expatriate years and I have no idea...
Hi. My friend is being beaten by her husband. She belongs to my book group and the other day she burst into tears and told me everything. Her husband is very stressed at work and apparently drinks a lot and then comes home and gets angry very easily...
We are a British family about to move to Brazil. One of my major concerns about our move is that none of us speak Portuguese. Other people have told me that children are fast learners when it comes to language and it will all work out once I get there, but will it?
My husband and I are on the verge of our first expatriate assignment and are very excited to be moving to London. I think that this will be a very easy transition for us, as English is our first language... However, an experienced expat friend of mine warned me that sometimes it is more difficult to settle into English-speaking countries...
I am 53, divorced with grown children. I am a teacher by training and 2 years ago decided that life is too short and picked up and moved to Africa... My problem is that now I am at retirement age, the government will not renew my visa and I am not allowed to stay here. I am devastated and heart broken. I am wondering if you can offer any advice.
I started the expat circuit a little later in life at 52 and we have been living in Portugal for a little over eight months. We have four children who have been my pride, joy and focus for the past 30 years. When we decided to move to Portugal we organised for the kids to board at their university and they seem quite happy about it – it is me that is struggling...
Six months ago, I was in a great job back home in London... I agreed to leave my job because everything about my husband's new posting to Malaysia sounded incredibly exciting and it was never really an option in my mind to commute or to separate from my husband of three years. However, I am not coping well with financial dependence...
We are newlyweds and decided to take the opportunity of a lifetime when my husband's company asked if we would be keen to move abroad with his job. We have been in Vietnam for 4 months now and so far so good – especially because I have now received the paperwork to open my own counselling practice here, which is very exciting. However, I just found out that I am pregnant! I am petrified about giving birth here...
I live in Athens, Greece, and I think I am an alcoholic. I am spending more and more nights drinking. I find myself choosing unimportant evening social functions (through my job with the foreign service here) over getting home and spending time with my family. I will literally spend a few hours on Monday morning planning...
My husband has just been offered a one-year assignment abroad and I am thinking about whether or not to quit my job and move away from my ill mother to join him. I have no aspirations to live abroad, I am really very content and happy with my life here, and I feel duty bound to be here for my mother. I have thought about living apart...
We have been in Portugal for six months and I cannot believe how lost and dissatisfied I feel. I genuinely thought I would get enough stimulation from my surroundings, supplemented by the local expat club activities. However, I now realise that I need more than coffee...
Hello, I need some advice about my two children, 16 and 14 years of age. Ever since we have moved to Germany last year, my children have transformed into withdrawn, negative children who blame me for taking them away from their friends back home... Read more…
My 20-year marriage has been slowly disintegrating over the last four years, as my husband and I have tended to argue more and increasingly live our own separate lives. I thought that accepting his first long-awaited international assignment might help us, but it has not...
Ciao! I just moved to Italy a year ago and have started to meet people. I am married to an Italian citizen and am getting over my culture shock, my rollercoaster emotions and I am finally settling in. I met a woman (also married to an Italian) at a common expat meet up as... Read more…
I am feeling a bit down because I have the feeling that my husband is keeping secrets from me. He's getting distant from me and he always seems too tired to talk. I realise that his work is quite demanding, but we have been married for ten years and have lived the expatriate life...
In a few months, my partner and I will be returning to home base. The problem now is that this move home has made us realize that we have no more than two months' salary saved in our joint bank account – which is virtually nothing. This is causing us both great anxiety...
I moved to Europe 14 months ago for my career. I was offered a once-in-a-lifetime job and my partner agreed that it was just too good for me to refuse, so he happily supported our move and came as my 'trailing spouse'. Before I accepted the posting, we talked long and hard about what options there might be...
I am an adult TCK (Third Culture Kid). I have spent my life in Papua New Guinea, China, the US and am now in the Middle East. My country of birth, New Zealand, is actually the country in which I have spent the least time. Recently I lived there in New Zealand for four years. This turned out to be my most difficult posting...
We moved to Sri Lanka three months ago for my husband's job. However, things suddenly took a turn for the “different” when my husband came home two days ago and announced that his company is restructuring and we no longer have a job here! Nothing can begin to describe the mass of feelings and emotions that washed over me...
My husband has a new high-powered position in Oman and has been there without me for three months. Now I discover that during my absence he is conducting online affairs with women. I accidentally discovered this and was deeply horrified to read the intimate details they shared with each other. He justifies his actions by saying...
I was born in Asia and went to London at age 23. I studied, worked, lived and met my American husband in London. Fourteen years later, we have now relocated to the United States, where I am having difficulties fitting into the country that I had adopted but never had any social ties with...
Recently I moved to my partner's home country, Japan. I myself am from Denmark, which is where we met. However, ever since we moved to Japan four and half months ago, our relationship has been having problems. It seems that the man I fell in love with has transformed into a different person...
I am an expat woman working living in Dubai with my husband and our three daughters. We have been here for almost 8 months and so far so good. However, Christmas time is coming up and I have just been told that I won't be able to have time off for the holidays...
I am living in Amsterdam and I seem to have a problem with giving up the exciting social life that I am living right now as an expat. In the beginning of my posting, I felt homesick - I missed my friends and family back home and felt flattered with the attention and invitations...
Help! I'm becoming increasingly negative and pessimistic and can't help but be cynical and contemptuous towards everyone and about almost everything. This is my second posting overseas with my husband and I know I'm becoming more and more impossible to be around. I am finding it difficult to keep friends and fear that I'm driving my husband and our friends (both here and at home) away. Whenever I meet new people...
I recently saw a TV programme called 'Bride-Zilla'. It's about brides-to-be that become out of control and obsessed with planning their wedding. My fiancée is less than impressed with the gusto to which I've taken this project on and I feel like he's withdrawing from the wedding. Help, I'm an unemployed fiancée that followed my husband to be here and I'm paranoid that I'm turning into an expat Bride-Zilla!
Hi, we are living in a very small village in Finland. We have been here for 7 months now and I'm still having a hard time meeting people. I know there are foreigners living here, but there seem to be no expat-type clubs or associations (out of the capital city) that get us together. I've joined some online forums, but that's not quite the same as meeting someone for a coffee! What can I do.
I had a successful executive career in the UK before we moved for my husband's first overseas assignment to Morocco. We have just moved again to Italy and have been informed that in three years we will likely move again. Building a career in a new place takes time, especially when you arrive in a new place and know no one.
I am an Indian citizen and have been living in Singapore for 21 years... I was wondering if you could give me some advice on being the permanent foreigner – the one that inevitably seems to be left behind by expatriate friends? It's very difficult not to retreat and become insular when meeting other expats now – for fear of the pain when they leave...
I cannot unplug. I just feel too guilty when I go on vacation not to check my email every day and call into the office at least every other day. I am the one who brought my husband and children here to Amsterdam and I do not want to risk having the office say she is slacking off — even if it is vacation — and getting fired. Help!
I live in China and I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I am very sick, and I am undergoing chemo treatment in one of the international hospitals here. The hospital seems ok, but not all the doctors' English is very good – and my first language is French. I am wondering if I should stay here, or move back...
I am 41 years old and I am facing having to give up my architectural career because my husband has received a really good job offer in Africa. I really like my job, and I am good at it... I can't imagine turning into a housewife while my career is going to so well!
I am about to move from Canada to Asia, where it seems the 'norm' to have household help (ie. a maid). I am worried about this, as I have never lived like this before and I have no idea where to start to look for a maid and/or what I should do with one! My partner is not...
I am a French citizen and live in Brazil, where I work as a teacher in an international school. I'm 28 years old and single, and one of the things that is on my list of meaningful things to do this year, is to eat healthier and become more fit. After school hours, I tutor often until...
I haven't admitted this to anyone, but one of my biggest fears is that moving to Asia could spell the end of genuine romance in my life. I'm 39 and do not want to give up on my dream of finding a life-companion and lover who I could have children with and one day, retire with....
I've always dreamed of one day, retiring abroad, to live by the beach in the Caribbean. So now, at the ripe young age of 55, I'm leaving next month to live out my dream. I should be bursting with happiness, but I'm not. I find myself overwhelmed with anxiety. I'm worried about whether...
We have recently moved back to the UK from Bombay, India. I really enjoyed my time away, however, we are all finding it really difficult to settle back 'home' into England! I understand that returning home is akin to reverse culture shock, but do you have any tips for us?
I am always feeling guilty that my exciting life abroad does not seem to have room in it to help care for my ageing parents back 'home'. Can you please help me reconcile this sense of guilt, and also provide me with some tips on how to manage this situation successfully?
How do I share my expat life and experiences with my friends back home? I have such a fabulous life as an expatriate – sure it has some frustrating and emotional aspects, but I wouldn't change any of it. My query lies in what to do with my friends at home...
I've only been here 4 months and am struggling with the way I am treated in the office. I'm a Senior Manager with a European company in Saudi and I understand that women here have a different 'status' to women at home in Europe, but how can I do my job...
I am moving to my first overseas posting with my company in two months. Do you have any tips on adjusting to my new life quickly so I can hit the ground running and hopefully prevent any nasty culture shock?
Help! I think I took the “get involved!” advice too literally... I love to be busy and being involved in all these clubs makes me feel a bit better about not being able to work, but now I feel stressed, over committed and obligated – I don't want to let all these people down, but I think I have bitten off more than I can chew.
It is frightening to learn about the vast number of affairs and cases of infidelity that are occurring in our community... I was wondering if you had a theory as to why infidelity seems to strike hard in expatriate communities.
I find myself at a loss as a trailing spouse in St Petersburg, Russia. I don't speak Russian and even if I could find a job, legally it's not possible for me to work here. Suddenly the days are very long, I have difficulty filling them and am starting to dread going to bed... Do you have any tips or advice on how I can stop myself feeling like this?
