ExpatWomen Confession:


Dear EW Girlfriend,

I am about to move from Canada to Asia, where it seems the ‘norm’ to have household help (ie. a maid). I am worried about this, as I have never lived like this before and I have no idea where to start to look for a maid and/or what I should do with one! My partner is not employed by a large company, which maybe would normally have other women expats for me to turn to for help. Can you give me some advice on where to start and what I should look out for – and whether I should employ one part-time, full-time, live-in or live-out?

PJ

ExpatWomen Girlfriend:

Dear PJ

Being described by many as a perk of living an expatriate life, it is common in many countries to employ domestic help (or a “maid”). There can be many reasons for having a maid: the number one usually being that labor is often cheaper in the country where you are living as an expat. Expat housing overseas is often larger than at ‘home’, so you might really need someone to help you clean all that extra space. Changing clothes happens more frequently if you’re an active expat, and thus laundry piles up as well. (Although maybe this is because you know someone is at home to help iron all those extra linen shirts!) Shopping for groceries at markets becomes a lot easier with the help of a maid who speaks the language, or who is familiar with the local customs.

While the hiring of a part-time maid can be reasonably uncomplicated, having a full-time live-in maid is different because every aspect of her life must integrate into your family’s routine. It’s extremely easy in many ways to have a full-time maid, but there is always some apprehension regarding privacy and trust. Having your maid look after your household means she knows the ins and outs of your family’s doings, comings and goings. Plus, some maids have been known to knock on bedroom doors at all hours in the night – honest! Maids that live in, usually have access to all the rooms and drawers, which again requires trust and leaves little to her imagination, being an outsider of the family. Especially if you have secrets that you don’t want shared.

Just another thought on this… if you’re deciding between a live-in and a day maid, most families tend to prefer live-ins, as that means you would always have someone on hand to watch your children, if you wanted to go out unexpectedly (even just to buy bread, or to visit a neighbor). Day maids have also been known to ‘hover’ around you, when they have nothing to do, just so that they ‘look busy’. Whereas, if live-ins have any spare time, they tend to retreat to their own room and leave you in peace.

Communication can also be a challenge: misunderstandings are common, especially in the beginning when your habits or preferences regarding food, cleaning and other household issues are not known to her. Also, it takes a while to get to know someone, and to interpret moods and body language. Some cultures have different interpretations and again, it takes a bit of time to get to know those – and equally, for her to get to know your nuances. If it’s the first time for you to have a maid, give yourself some time to learn the ropes in handling domestic situations. It may be worthwhile to hire a maid for a trial period first, before taking them as a permanent employee (if possible).

Ways to find a maid again vary per country, but the most common are: via an agency; via the newspaper; or via the grapevine. Try to find someone who comes with a personal recommendation. People advertise on supermarket notice boards or in the magazines or newsletters that are associated to women’s clubs. If you’re a parent, ask other mums when you're waiting at the classroom door or ask around your compound; your neighbor's housemaid might know of someone. Try to speak to the person they worked for before. Try to ask questions that involve their detailed background information and explain clearly expectations and ask them for theirs. (Although bear in mind that most maids will not be too forthcoming about expectations of you at their interview, aside from salary of course, due to the understandable power imbalance in that interview situation.)

Salaries depend on what country you’re in. There’s online information on how much you’re expected to pay where, or you can ask around amongst fellow expats what the going rate is. Particularly around your neighbors – as it’s these employers’ maids that your maid will start to befriend and with whom she will likely start to compare salaries. Someone who has been an expat for a while in the country you’re in is usually a wealth of information regarding household help. Remember also to find out more about the local customs and laws, regarding employers’ responsibilities – v varying from food responsibilities to health insurance, holidays, salary, termination, home leave (if applicable), work hours etc.

When your maid starts working for you, it’s also highly advisable to set clear guidelines with your maid on expectations, both from the employer’s perspective as well as theirs and to have them in writing. If you hire her locally, it is a good idea to get a copy of her passport or ID card, in case of legal issues. Setting the daily tasks in writing, on a sheet posted in the kitchen, is also a great idea. Older maids might not be too happy to follow your schedule at first, but once they learn it (usually in the first two weeks), they should rarely need to check it again.

All in all, a lot of things to think about. Just remember; your quality of life can improve tremendously not having to clean the bathrooms or worrying about the pile of laundry. Enjoy your subsequent extended leisure time while you can!

ExpatWomen Girlfriend
July 2007 

Our New ExpatWomen Girlfriend is originally from The Netherlands. She has lived as an Expat Woman in India, Canada, Indonesia, Chile and Thailand – where she is currently a ‘trailing spouse’ to a husband of a different nationality to hers. She is a mother of two children, born in Asia, that have dual nationalities. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in European Communications (Marketing) and she will soon graduate from her Master of Science degree in Counselling Psychology. She works in a private mental health clinic, plus counsels expatriate women.

Disclaimer: This column is intended to be of general interest to ExpatWomen.com visitors. Its suggestions and/or inferences are generalisations and do not address the needs of individuals, nor should they be relied upon in any shape or form. Please seek professional advice/counselling/therapy If you genuinely need assistance to talk through issues in your life right now.