ExpatWomen Confession:


Dear ExpatWomen Girlfriend,

I am 41 years old and I am facing having to give up my architectural career because my husband has received a really good job offer in Africa. I really like my job, and I am good at it. I enjoy going to work and our household works well the way it is. The children go to high school and I usually come home around 5:30pm and make dinner. My husband comes home later, but he drops the kids off at school in the mornings. We are all very comfortable in this situation and I feel apprehensive about giving up my job. I enjoy my work and I am good at it. I can’t imagine turning into a housewife while my career is going to so well! What would I do with all that time on my hands? My husband’s remuneration package is generous, so financially I don’t really need to contribute. But I’m more worried about loosing ‘my touch’ on the job market and becoming less marketable for not continuing work whilst we live abroad. Finding work in Africa seems daunting to me. What can I do?

EG

New ExpatWomen Girlfriend:

Dear EG

I can very much understand your concerns. You are definitely bringing up an issue that is a priority for many women. The recently-released GMAC Global Relocation Services’ Global Relocation Trends 2006 Survey Report actually cites 66% of respondents to their survey of 180 of the top global companies, claimed “spouse/partner careers” as a chief reason for assignment refusal. The reason was second-only in ranking to “family concerns”.

Traditionally, when couples relocate internationally, the accompanying spouse is traditionally female. As evidenced in the Global Relocation Trends 2006 Survey Report, which again confirmed this statistic, citing only 20% of employer-sponsored expatriates as female (with an historical average of only 15%). In recent years, more couples are switching roles, and/or combining their dual-career ambitions – but still, the overwhelming majority of accompanying spouses (ie. expats who do not normally have a job to go to when they move abroad) are women. it is typically women who either need to find a new job overseas (which can be a very daunting task), give up their jobs, or reinvent their ‘work’ so that they perhaps do not need a ‘job’, but find career satisfaction in creating their own ‘work’ abroad.

In some households, the high cost of living combined with perhaps a less generous expat package (and/or ongoing financial commitments back home), mean that the accompanying spouses have no choice but to find work – or create paid ‘work’. Not in your case, but in many cases, women have this added pressure.

In dual career couples the professional adjustment of the trailing partner is very important for the psychological well-being, we’d rather be happy than not! So therefore, the significance of your issue of the dual career, is not to be underestimated.

For trailing spouses who want to remain employed, finding a job abroad may be challenging, but it isn't impossible. Have you ever considered self-employment and/or a portable career? Those are just two alternative options that you may not have given any serious thought to as yet. This might be the right time to explore those possibilities. There are a number of women who write and/or coach about these issues – so I encourage you to search this site and other sites, for resources specific to dual-career issues, portable careers and/or expat life coaching – to help you carve out a new niche for yourself in your new location.

To prepare for what is lying ahead; try to find out more about the local situation, regarding work permits, possible licensing and language. Find out about the international communities and possible volunteer work in your field of expertise. Embassies too have resources that can point you in the right directions. Sometimes volunteering for a bit can evolve from initially meeting people to an increasing network, to a paid job or even to starting up a business! There are countless stories of trailing spouses who have started doing business in for example export and import using the local products, or consulting in their area of expertise. Volunteer jobs with skill-base-stretching opportunity can lead from one thing to another. Another idea that might appeal to some, is to pick up that study that you always wanted to pursue. Online studies are widely available, and local universities sometimes have surprising programs to offer in English. Most major places have international universities – and/or universities with international affiliations.

As more and more companies are recognizing the dual career issue as a vitally important part of having a successful expatriate assigned to job, your husband’s company might be helpful in achieving your goal. There are dual career services and job centres who specialize in providing assistance for pursuing careers whilst living overseas, be that as a trailing spouse or not. Those one-to-one career coaches certainly are in a growing market. Other companies offer assistance that may include a range of services - offering counseling on how to secure a work permit or get involved in the community, information on upcoming business conferences, or lists of classes to augment job skills. See if your husband’s company can assist you in any of these issues, or if they have ties with companies that offer those services. Also, as part of the move plan; explain to your husband that you’d like to be as involved as much as possible in the relocation to Africa. That will make the whole process less daunting and you might be able to have a say in matters that are important to you.

There are many resources and forums online where you can find more information and/or network with others. I encourage you to be proactive and learn as much as you can, whilst keeping an open mind to new and potentially exciting opportunities for your career abroad.

Good luck with your move!

  New ExpatWomen Girlfriend
August 2007 

Our New ExpatWomen Girlfriend is originally from The Netherlands. She has lived as an Expat Woman in India, Canada, Indonesia, Chile and Thailand – where she is currently a ‘trailing spouse’ to a husband of a different nationality to hers. She is a mother of two children, born in Asia, that have dual nationalities. She has a Bachelor of Arts degree in European Communications (Marketing) and she will soon graduate from her Master of Science degree in Counselling Psychology. She works in a private mental health clinic, plus counsels expatriate women.

Disclaimer: This column is intended to be of general interest to ExpatWomen.com visitors. . Its suggestions and/or inferences are generalizations and do not address the needs of individuals, nor should they be relied upon in any shape or form. Please seek professional advice/counseling/therapy if you genuinely need assistance to talk through issues in your life right now.