Special Needs Children Abroad
Dear EW Girlfriend,
Hi. We are considering taking on an expatriate posting. Nothing has been offered yet but we are keen to try and make something happen within the next year or two. My question is about special needs education. We have two young children: our 4 year old has dyslexia and the youngest, 2½, has just been diagnosed with autism. I am torn with guilt between wanting to go abroad and jeopardising our children's education. Is it unrealistic for us to consider an expat posting at this time?
KP
Expat Women Girlfriend:
Dear KP,
You are not alone in your concerns. The latest 'Global Relocation Trends 2009 Survey Report', conducted by Brookfield Global Relocation Services reported that 92 percent of respondents said that family concerns remain the most overwhelming reason for assignment refusal or failure – and concluded that "every child moving to another country, leaving friends, family, his or her comfort zone in curriculum, interests, and perhaps even language of instruction, inherently has special needs" – even if at a different level to yours.
Home is where children feel comfortable, safe and secure (as do their parents). It is where they have their family, school and friends and it frames who they are in terms of language skills and cultural codes. Many children are in the process of learning how to socialize effectively, and of gaining a sense of control and independence. When they are moved abroad, they lose all this. In the middle of a steep learning process they will have to start over: make new friends; get used to a new home; neighbourhood; school; country; learn a new language; and adjust to new cultural codes. These requirements need to be taken into consideration, in addition to your children's medical concerns. However, armed with the right information I do not see that your children's diagnoses need rule out the possibility of a positive expatriate experience.
Inevitably, there will be some difficult experiences in any family's move abroad, but here are some pointers to help make your potential move as successful as possible:
Research
Certainly you will need to do a lot research and be as prepared as you can be, but as should all families who are embarking on an overseas assignment. You should thoroughly research which resources and facilities are available in your target country – and if possible, reach out to people already using those services. Ideally, personally visit, check and compare those facilities yourself.
In your research, you will need to check mainsteam (and possibly alternative) education options, individual teachers that work with special needs children, medical facilities, family support groups, government assistance and any other resources that might be important for the well-being of your family. If you need help to compare education options, there are companies out there with years of expertise in this area whose advice could prove priceless in any relocation decision that you make.
If one of the deciding factors in your potential move abroad is the availability of household help (such as a cleaner, nanny, special needs carer, tutor, driver and so on), make sure you research this thoroughly, because pay rates, waiting time before your household helpers can start with you (due to paperwork and other due processes), local laws and expectations can vary greatly from country to country.
Your Own Emotional Stability
How reliant are you on friends and family for emotional support, mental relief and having some 'time out'? How comfortable would you be without your same support network readily available? Overseas relocation with children can be difficult for any parent experiencing the chaos and uncertainty of an international move, but parents of children with extra care needs undoubtedly have even more to think about and juggle abroad. Are you strong enough to manage this on your own (or until you meet new friends and/or join a support group)?
Support
The nature of expatriate life often means that the expat community is very close and supportive and you should not be on your own for too long. (Although bear in mind that new friends abroad will most likely travel more than your support network back home, so they might not always be there for you when you need them). There may already be support groups for families with special needs children set up either as stand-alones or through an educational facility. Find out as much as you can before arriving and join up if you can. You may even be able to sign up to attend an event as soon as you arrive. Certainly there are a plethora of online communities, chat rooms and forums that can provide support and information. Join some forums and find out as much as you can about living abroad and moving to your particular host country.
Finances
Moving abroad can certainly be financially beneficial, but it can also be an expensive task. I imagine more so if you require professionally trained staff to help with your children's education and daily life, which may otherwise be subsidised in your home country. When negotiating any possible expatriate assignment, make sure you are clear with your company what they will pay for and what they will not cover. Will they pay for your housing, transport, flights home, medical insurance, schooling, special care if you require it, household help and so on? If not, decide what you can afford to pay for, and ultimately can you afford to go on this assignment.
The reality of expat life is that some expats return home with a healthy savings account, but others do not. It is up to you and your partner to do the sums and work out what you might/might not be able to afford if you were to move abroad, then decide how that likely scenario would affect everything else in your life, including your relationship and your well-being.
Medical
Make sure you are comfortable with the level of medical care in your potential location and/or you are comfortable with the travel arrangements (and time taken) to get to more suitable medical care, if need be. Ensure you think about sufficient medical and travel insurance options, which include medical evacuation. Understand the terms and conditions, if there are any restrictions on where you are moving to and if there are any moratoriums on services available.
Also, if your children require any specific medicines, check if these medicines (or their acceptable equivalent) are disbursed in your potential new location and if so, the costs, requirements and availability.
You Are Your Children's Champion
How adaptable are your children? Would they react or act up if they were moved? Are they likely to settle in to a new environment easily? Do they have friends at home that they are strongly attached to?
You are your children's first support and champion. At the end of the day, once you have done your research and feel confident about moving to a particular location abroad, only you will know whether this is the right thing to do at this point in time for you and your family.
We wish you all the very best in your decision.
Expat Women Girlfriend
December 2009
Brookfield Global Relocation Services
http://www.brookfieldgrs.com/
Produce the annual Global Relocation Trends Survey report.
RNG International Educational Consultants, LLC
http://www.rebeccagrappo.com/
RNG International Educational Consultants helps families find the right educational setting so that their child(ren) can succeed and thrive.
School Choice International
http://www.schoolchoiceintl.com/your-school-choices/special-needs.asp
Tips for moving with a special needs child from School Choice International.
Taking A Special Needs Child Overseas?
What To Know Before You Go
Article by Rebecca Grappo
The Center for Children with Special Needs
http://cshcn.org/about-us
Thorough website with information, hands-on support and guidance to raising children with special needs and self help/care plans for parents.
Our Expat Women Girlfriend is originally from New Zealand. She has been living abroad as an expatriate since 1996. She has an educational background in Human Resources and Cross Cultural Psychology and has worked with expatriate support issues at the private, corporate and non-profit level. In 2004, she saw a need and established an English speaking hotline in her expat location, offering free mental health support to the growing expatriate population. The hotline provides confidential and anonymous support and information via trained telephone volunteers and is funded through corporate sponsorship. Our Expat Women Girlfriend has always been an active member in the various expatriate communities she has lived in, providing cross-cultural awareness training and informal counseling sessions with a particular focus on the 'trailing spouse' and family.
Disclaimer: This column is intended to be of general interest to ExpatWomen.com visitors. Its suggestions and/or inferences are generalizations and do not address the needs of individuals, nor should they be relied upon in any shape or form. Please seek professional advice/counseling/therapy if you genuinely need assistance to talk through issues in your life right now. |
