ExpatWomen:   Vicel, most of us have never been to Afghanistan. Can you please share with us what some of your first impressions were when you arrived? Have your impressions changed, now that you have been there for a while?

Vicel: I remember thinking “this place is very raw”. Afghanistan and its people are very real and very tough. The beautiful craggy mountains and the dry dusty landscape seems to resonate with the spirits of its inhabitants. Except for Kabul, the rest of the country seems to be in no hurry to catch up with the 21st century. Visiting villages and seeing mud houses lined on narrow streets, then at a bend watch a turbaned, bearded man pull a donkey with a woman riding on it, I laugh. It's like stepping into the setting of the first Christmas story. It was also strange watching women fully covered in the blue burqa. At first It was angering but then much later I realized that a lot of the anger that I feel comes from reading western writers who are biased in their presentation of the burqa as a symbol of oppression. It could be a view shared by some more progressive Afghan women but for the majority, the burqa is self-imposed. Apart from my views on the veiling of women, my other first impressions on the country are pretty much the same. I've learned to expect the unexpected. Afghanistan is a volatile and very complex country. When you think you've got it all figured out you'll realized that you haven't.

It hasn't been always easy but I have come to enjoy my life here. We work with Afghan staff who are optimistic about the future. The work is very interesting and the context is very challenging. We live in a shared compound but we've managed to create a nice little home for ourselves. I can't complain. Afghanistan treats me well.



ExpatWomen:    Moving to Afghanistan for your first posting and living with a new husband who was always away at work must have been a very big change for you. You have told us previously that it was “heart-wrenching”. Can you tell us more about what you went through and why you volunteered to be a Mentor?

Vicel:   It was extremely difficult for me. In the Philippines, I was successful in my teaching job. I worked part-time as a personal trainer and yoga instructor at a gym. On weekends, we would go swimming, ocean kayaking, join 5-10km fun run races or watch a movie. Afghanistan is my first home abroad and arriving in Herat on January of 2004 was my first winter ever, with no friends, no more tank tops, I could not speak the language and I did not have work. My self esteem nose-dived and I was a mess. I was groping for something to keep me afloat. I began by volunteering to work for other agencies. None of them would hire me because I've never worked for a development agency before. I needed to learn the business first.

The hardest thing was not having somebody who I can relate to about how I was feeling. I was the only non-working spouse in our country program. In my head I know that what I was going through was not an overreaction, that I am not going crazy and that other people who are in the same position as me dealt with the same feelings. But, knowing it in my head is different from actually knowing somebody, a real person living in Afghanistan and able to empathize. I volunteered to be a Mentor because I think that in this day and age, no one should have to go through these changes alone.

ExpatWomen:    Now, you do consultancy work for an international non-governmental organization. Are many women in your position in Herat City able to find work?

Vicel:   There are very few women in Herat City who are in my position. In Kabul, many women do find work because of the saturated NGO environment. Couples who live and work in Afghanistan are usually more mature, have lived and worked in many places and so it is easier for the accompanying partner to find work. Very rarely do young couples make the choice. When they do come they rarely stay for longer than 8 to 10 months and then they move on.

ExpatWomen:   What would be your top 5 tips for women moving to Afghanistan?

Vicel: 

ExpatWomen:   Can you please tell us some web sites that you would recommend for your location?

Vicel:   For general information on the country http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghanistan is a good place to start.
For great photos of the country from the 1970s to the present http://avalon.unomaha.edu/afghan/index.htm is the best site to check out.

ExpatWomen:   Finally, Vicel, do you have any words of wisdom for our Expat Women?

Vicel:   That's a tough call. I've only just begun and am still learning this expat way of life. What I have learned so far though is to:

1. Expect the unexpected.
2. Arm myself with the right attitude and plenty of self-love.
3. Believe that ALL things lead to good, and
4. Seek refuge in things that nourish my spirit (eg. Yoga, meditation, colored bottles, sunshine on my face, a good cup of coffee, and a dog sitting next to me).