Special thanks for this article go to Sharon, an American expat mother in France and a former flight attendant for two carriers in five countries over thirteen years.


3. Seating

"Bulkhead" seats are often recommended for families. We are talking about the ones with the wall in front. They are not necessarily in the front of the cabin, as many believe. It depends on the aircraft. I think they are ideal for toddlers as you avoid the problem of the child kicking the seats in front of them thus annoying the neighbors. You can also get in and out of these seats easier, as you will be doing that a lot with a toddler or baby. Plus, children can often play in that space on the floor, close to their parents and their seats.

Not everyone loves them though. There isn't much forward legroom (although some are comfortably set far back) and stowage is limited. If you have extra seats in that row, often the armrests often will not come up to let a child lie down (especially appreciated for children without car seats). Of course with the newer entertainment systems, it's often not possible to put up the armrests anywhere, anyway. Some bulkheads are in front of emergency exits so only those over 14 can sit there (among other restrictions). The other disadvantage cited is that there is a large, pull-down movie screen and that could bother some children if the seats do not have individual screen.

Normally, for bulkhead seats, you have to stow your bags just for take-off and landing. I have had reports that some foreign airlines require the bags be stowed for the entire flight. You may want to ask specifically about this if you are flying a non-U.S. carrier. Otherwise, feel free to get your things down once the seatbelt sign is off.

Some airlines will not reserve bulkheads ahead of time, and state that they are specifically reserved for families. You are put on a waiting list for them. If there is too much demand, they will determine at check-in who will get them. I found this to be a cut and dry process, depending on the age and/or number of children. If you run into this situation, Do not insist and make sure you have reserved as good seats as possible as a back-up. Also be clear on when and where they will announce the lucky winners.

I find it mega-annoying if I have been refused a bulkhead seat, only to step onboard and see all adults sitting there, who could have easily been placed in exit rows, which have more legroom and where children aren't allowed. I actually wrote and complained and they told me that they were reserved for frequent flyers. Ugh no! Get a clue!! It's bad because then the children get to kick other customers' backsides, who will then be annoyed and swear they will never fly that airline again. Tell the poor bruised-backsiders "Sorry, we requested bulkhead but this airlines policy is..." If you endure this too, please write and complain as I did. Maybe if enough of us speak out...

Recently, I read one of those (un) helpful tips to nursing mothers to sit by the window for more discretion. Perhaps there is a certain logic in this, I will admit, but if you are on a long flight, I can't imagine anything more inconvenient than having to crawl over two other passengers every time you need to get up. I picture this nursing mother trying to get over two businessmen with a crying baby who's just done a "blow out" diaper, lugging a gear-filled diaper bag. Not a pretty picture. Trust me, for the tiny bit more of discretion you will get, the inconvenience outweighs it by far. I have breastfed all three of mine in bulkhead and/or aisle seats and I never suffered as a result. More on feeding later on...

Some airlines have bassinets which mount on bulkhead wall. These are useful if available but You will usually have to be in a bulkhead to get one. Ask about what weight limit is, which varies from carrier to carrier. Some bassinets can be suspended from the ceiling for center seats. I have only heard about this and never actually seen one in action. American rules on these are strict and Do not be surprised if you can't get one on a U.S. company. I also understand that Canadian airlines now require that only sleeping babies can be placed in any bassinet in-flight. Again, there are lots of different rules and availability regarding bassinets.

A bassinet should not be seen as an option to avoid bringing a car seat. For safety, again, there is no replacement for a car seat. Sometimes too, you will be required to remove the baby from the bassinet and hold him or her in turbulence. Never leave an unattended baby asleep in a bassinet. The bassinet has to be stowed for take-off and landing so the child will then have to go either in his or her seat or on your lap.

Families flying with at least two adults often book two (or more) seats in front and back of each other. This is an obvious choice on smaller aircraft which do not have four across together and any airplane which has two seat rows. Also, this could work if there are at least four or five family members flying together. The advantage is that the most active child can sit directly behind a familiar adult or a baby in a car seat and not kick the seatback of a stranger.

Some parents also like booking the window and aisle seats when there are two, plus a lap-held baby, or a solo parent and child with seat, hoping the center one is left empty. If not, they can simply switch with the person who gets the middle seat. No one wants the center so swapping isn't usually a problem. Let them choose but point out it might be easier for them to take it.

Another version, an excellent tip sent in to me was an expanded version of the above. Perhaps a family of three is flying and the aircraft has four middle seats. The family will book two seats together and then skip a seat, booking the aisle. They then hope that no one sits in the middle seat. If someone does arrive, logically they will not mind swapping for the aisle seat. I suggest a parent be the one to switch in this case, if possible.

If you have a "stranger" in your row, the rest of the seats taken by your family, choose with care who is to sit next to them. I thought it would be better for me to sit next to them once. Bad call on my part. I was getting up too often. A better pick would be perhaps an older school-aged child. Obviously, you will not want to place a small baby or toddler there, if you can avoid it.

I have also heard of one parent sitting away from the rest and the two switching to give each other a break. This is often cited as yet another helpful flying "tip". The few times I saw this, the "displaced" parent ended up hovering over the other members of the family anyway. I talked about this with upgrades and often switching itself is not allowed.

Some parents love to sit in the very back. They like being close to the galley and toilets and figure their children's noise is less likely to disturb others. Added plus, passengers can often stand up in the back without disturbing others when the seatbelt sign is off. If your children need or want to get up, this way they are not too far from their seats. This is perhaps a better idea for flying with older children and young teens. Please note that the galley is not always located in the back, although the toilets usually are. I do not recommend the very back of the plane if your children have a tendency to get air sick. The back is bumpier.

For future updates to Sharon's information, or to contact Sharon directly, please visit her Blog: http://flyingwithchildren.blogspot.com/

Sharon's Disclaimer: This article is not a legal document and cannot be used as proof of any of the laws or rules that I refer to throughout. Check the FAA websites, or other relevant agencies to confirm any statements that are made. I try to provide links where I can. Be aware, also, that airlines often have their own policies which might be stricter than their own government's laws. Most of the employees that you encounter do not have the power to change or make exceptions to any rule. They simply must follow them, even in cases where logic or safety is questionable.