Dating Abroad
By Sarah Western
By moving abroad, you are doing everything but putting your life on hold. So why do some expats put their love lives on hold when they go abroad?
When you move, only you know for how long it might really be:
- A two-year assignment (and after that I am outta here)
- A permanent position (excellent!)
- A one-year assignment (and with a five-year work permit so I may never go home!)
- A three-year position (but I’m open to anything!)
- A six-month stint (I was supposed to stay longer but).
No doubt this will affect your attitude toward dating, but keep in mind that it is:
- Most likely that you will meet another expat of the same nationality and you live happily ever after in your home country (perhaps after you enjoy your host country a bit longer)
- Possible that you meet a local catch and decide to live happily every after in their country/your host country, your country, or their country then your country
- A bit likely you will meet another country’s offspring and stay in your host country together
Because it’s easiest to meet people from your home country, this is the most common long-term expat relationship. Your shared background makes it comfortable, and chances are you’re both planning to return home. Network with your same-nationality friends to meet their cute friends, and don’t forget to call on the support systems from home / alumni programs, events celebrating things from home, and blind dates. When abroad, even failed blind dates can turn into friendships and who knows, maybe he’ll be great for your friend.
If you are willing to consider living abroad for a longer period of time, you may be open to dating a foreigner. In these cases, increase your possibilities by going online where nationality matters less to everyone involved. Also look to your local friends, whose circle will include locals, and may include other expats who have decided to stay indefinitely.
Should this happen, be sure to converse early about what living possibilities you’d accept. If you are both living outside of your home countries, perhaps you come up with a pact that neither can encourage a move to your own home country, but one can suggest a move to the others country.
In the same way you don’t want the temporary (even long-term temporary) location of your life to get in the way of making local friends, you don’t want it to get in the way of meeting someone great either. So like with making friends, keep your eyes open to new possibilities. They are everywhere, just waiting to be found!
Sarah Western helps ex-pats and their families with the lifestyle and social elements of building their new worlds in London.
Copyright of Sarah Western. Reprinted with Permission. |
