Networking for Women
Interview with Susan Jackson, Founder and Executive Director of The Women's Financial Network
1. How is networking different for women?
Women do network differently from men. In general men are often far more strategic - they will arrive at an event and try to gauge who they should talk to and who they need to be introduced to. Women on the other hand will either just talk to whoever is closest or stick with someone they already know.
Whilst striking up a conversation with the first person you meet or sitting in the corner chatting with a friend you haven't seen for a while is okay, it is probably a good idea for both of you to introduce yourself to a couple of others as well. Particularly, if your motivation for being at the event was to network.
This also leads into the understanding of strategic business relationships. Men tend to find it easier to have business relationships on a range of different levels. Women though often tend to want everyone to be their best friend and don't always understand that business is about strategic positioning and building a network of people around you who provide advice etc on a range of different areas.
For example I have business relationships where I could pick up the phone and have a chat about a business issue or seek some advice but its not the sort of relationship where we are going to be catching up for lunch and sharing personal woes - that's what girlfriends are for.
2. What are the common mistakes women newcomers make when they network ?
The most common mistake (for men or women) has to be the "work the room" strategy that does not work. Trying to give out 20 or so business cards at one event is a big mistake and tends to leave a bad impression with people. Networking is about building relationships and so spending 20 minutes with 3 different people is likely to get you further than trying to talk to 20 people for five minutes each.
The other mistake that women can make is focusing the conversation totally on their children or other personal stuff. Whilst there is nothing wrong with sharing some personal data with someone you have just met, if you are there to do some serious networking then I feel it is important to keep the conversation on a business level.
Attaching yourself like glue to the person you have just met is also another common mistake, particularly for those who are not so confident about introducing themselves to people they don't know. Remember the person you are talking too, whilst they might be enjoying your company, probably wants to be able to chat to one or two other people as well. Why not suggest that the both of you go and introduce yourself to another group (the other person might be just as nervous as you are) or excuse yourself and introduce yourself to someone else.
Another mistake can be to have a few too many drinks or the glass of wine on an empty stomach that goes straight to your head. The alcohol might make you feel confident but chances are how you look and sound will give the opposite impression.
3. How do you choose a good quality networking event?
The first thing is to try to determine why you are attending the event and whether it is just for your own information purposes and maybe a bit of networking as an extra OR whether it is specifically for networking purposes. If it is specifically for networking purposes then you have to ask yourself who is likely to be at the event and so why is it a networking opportunity.
Then plan out what you expect to get from the event. For example your objective might be to introduce yourself to three business owners and so at the event this is what you should probably do.
4. What tips would you recommend for newcomers (hand shaking, etiquette etc)?
I think one of the most important things is to arrive on time for the event - it always seems a lot easier to introduce yourself to someone when you are one of the first arrivals or have the host introduce you to someone whereas walking into a room full of people who are engrossed in conversation is a lot more daunting. If you are an early arrival offer to help giving out the name tags and that way you get to say hello to lots of the guests and it doesn't necessarily feel quite so daunting to walk up to them later for a further chat.
In the majority of cases, particularly at a business event, I think it is appropriate to shake hands when being introduced to someone. Handshaking is an area that some women can have difficulty with and I would recommend practising on friends to develop a firm confident handshake.
Try to keep conversation fairly neutral and avoid sounding opinionated or monopolising the conversation. Think of questions that require more than yes/no answers. For example instead of asking 'do you live in Melbourne or are you new to Australia' try instead 'which part of Melbourne do you come from or what caused you to move to Australia' etc.
5. What tips would you recommend for business cards?
Firstly, I don't think it works to walk around with your business cards at the ready pressing them onto other people, before you have even been introduced. I think it is better to wait for the other person to ask for your card or enquire politely if they might like a card. I go through boxes of business cards each year, yet I very rarely offer them to people.
I find that in talking about what I do, people automatically ask for one. And I am sure that when someone asks for your card it is an indication that they are genuinely interested in what you do. It is better to give out two cards to people who ask for them and who are genuinely interested than it is to give out 20 cards to people who are not really interested.
In terms of cards I receive from other people, as soon as possible after the event I get the cards out and write down what I can remember about the person on the back of the card and the event and date we met, this then gets filed in my card index. If I have promised to send someone something or ring them I also try to do this as soon as possible. It always amazes me how many times I might meet someone and say that sound's great - can you send me some info and give them my card but no follow up ever happens.
In regards to the actual cards themselves, I think your business card should state clearly who you are and what you do - basically a business card needs to be a snapshot of you and your business. I am always surprised at how many business cards I see that just have a name and address and so after the event it can be hard to remember who the person was.
6. Describe two of the most unusual situations you have had to deal with at a networking event.
I can only think of one really bad situation and this was where I was asked to fill in as a speaker at the last moment and the brief was to talk to a group of women about networking (or so I thought). Arriving at the venue, it was all males from a very male dominated manufacturing type industry, who had no idea what networking was and I am sure thought I was speaking a foreign tongue. After the first ten minutes of speaking to glazed looks I asked them what they were interested in hearing about and we ended up having a discussion about team building and dealing with staff.
7. What are the most challenging aspects of networking?
The first one has to be remembering peoples names. I meet a huge number of people each year and all I can say is thank goodness for name tags. If you are in a situation where you can't remember the other person's name, you can always say 'I must get a card from you today' or simply say 'I'm sorry but your name has just gone right out of my head.'
The other is when you have had a really bad day or are feeling a bit anti-social and that last thing you feel like doing is introducing yourselves to strangers and talking. It is easy to just make an excuse and not attend but if you have paid money to attend then it is a waste not to go.
I also am a great believer that once you have committed to something it is extremely bad manners to not show up (barring some exceptions of course). I think at times like this you look for someone else at the event who looks like they might be feeling the same way and go over and introduce yourself. Then the both of you then go and introduce yourself to another group. By this stage you will be usually feeling a lot better.
8. What are the best aspects of networking?
The best thing is meeting new people, hearing their stories (good and bad). I always think it helps to put everything into perspective. You also get a lot of good ideas hearing what others are doing. It is still I think the best way to create business and personal contacts.
Susan's motivation has been to create an organisation where women could access financial information, professional advice and related services in a friendly holistic environment. Whilst the majority of clients are female, the style and nature of the organisation has also attracted an increasing number of male clients.
Reprinted with Permission. Women's Financial Network
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